Hahahha…as most of the foreigners, I also became the scapegoat to the technology these Japanese have. Bagging the credit of shitting in 9 different countries of Europe above all being a typical Indian, wherever I go to do my calls I used to go with a coke bottle or some pet bottle, that too into washrooms designed for physically challenged people. Not because I use a wheel chair or I am physically challenged (touch wood) but thats the only place where we can find water outlets. Else u hardly find washbasins in toilets anywhere in Europe.
But here in Japan, it was a total new excitement n something to do with IQ. Did I say IQ…huhh.. Once I gave my MENSA for dummies test and the computer spat on me saying better not to take this test again in this life. So being skeptical about my IQ, as soon as I checked into the Hotel after my long haul flight from Singapore, first thing to do was to run into toilet. There I saw some miniature space ship kind of gadget. I thought it was that alien EVE we see in this movie Wall-E.
Somehow thinking that it will talk to me or atleast wish me Hi I slowly touched it. Nothing happened. Then I realized it is some kind of commode these Japanese use to do shit. Some how I sat to do my course telling sorry just in case my thought comes alive and this alien shakes hand with me. At that thought I noticed one arm rest like panel, on my right hand side of the commode with some scriptures n symbols on it. Astonished and looking funny, I was puzzled thinking what the heck was this..? Is it some interactive gaming as Nintendo’s WII calling as score hitting while shitting kinds or is it some kind of gadget of CCTV for extra security. U can’t believe Japanese TRICKknowledge. Can’t take chances. So I was smiling all the way of my act if theres some web cam out there hidden so that I would look good n cheerful. Come on. Everybody wants to look good on TV. ..don’t we…?
Now am done…getting puzzled again what this touch panel is…to my remotest though I felt it has something to do with the act itself. whoa…the whole commode is digitalized. Am sitting on a digitalized commode at my service to do everything I want the pot to do. functions like 1) seat warming 2) initial auto sensors to flush lil bit as soon as u sit 3)deodorizers for odour absorption 4) flush sounds ( just the sounds ) to muzzle the droppings n embarrassing sounds 5) water sprayers with 5 levels of water pressure adjustment to clean 6) another spray for diff areas of ur butt 7) wide span sprinklers 8) stop button 9) timers cuts – just in case u did something wrong or over did things, esp for guys like me …lolz 10) blow dryers…etc etc…!!
What a way to shit. Being a lazy sloth am just so pleased and fascinated to see this technology. Forget the multi level subways or the bullet trains. This is just heaven. All u have to do is sit n shit. head over heels on this, I had a doubt, if theres some facility to have a robotic arm with a guided joystick where u can get the hose inserted into ur rectum n have the bionic enema injected n get the shit outta ya….just in case if you feel constipated. Good jeez nothing of that sort as of now. But u can always expect it. U never know. Japanese technology is the best….!! 😉
Now don’t dream with all these facilities. You have some panels completely in Japanese. You dont know what to press and how it responds. So next time you encounter these kind of commodes, I caution you do ur initial trial and error and get accustomed to the symbols. Else you end up either wetting you w’hole butt and dress or burning your base if the previous fellow has put the hot blower at max level or the commode thinks you as a female and have a total different set of cleaning functionality.
Its all just another way to blush with every flush. Have fun..!!