Jan 072010

JAPAN – The first thing we get to mind when we hear this word is an atom bomb .that Littleboy and the Fatman you remember? next comes their technology. The third picture will be of those hardworking ppl. I will talk about those nuclear stuff and that TRICKnowledge later, but here i want to tell about one intermittent thing we hardly talk about. The Japanese food.

Today I happened to have my tongue taste something very different. Something real Japanese. Okay let me be clear, am talking regarding some root or its a plant or a root plant don’t know what but a pure veggie stuff. Sorry to disappoint you folks to use this veggie word but its true. It is called Wasabi. Despite having dexterity of eating a fish with chopsticks the funda of eating this is quiet unusual. The mere look of this scared me inside out. The whole dish is called soba. Consisting of grey colored noodles. Yeah you read it correct its GREY colored noodles. First time in my life seeing noodles of this color (heard that soba can be found with black colored noodles also. Some day I will put that pic also) and you have a small cup with some less viscosity syrup looking like fermented blood but actually made out of some seaweed, vinegar, soy and fish scales. Another small cup consists of one spade like scrapper and a 4 inch length x 1 inch diameter root with beaten sprouts all over it. That is called Wasabi. Now my excitation levels and my urge to try exotic foods shot up. The game is u got to scrape Wasabi to that scrapper and you get fine grated paste. Now take chops, mix that paste into that syrup. I remembered my chemistry lab sessions in my junior intermediate where I tried to mix H2SO4 with aqua Fortis and burnt the lab table.

I was a lil scared if some big green gaseous bubble will pop out of that potion n a voice speaks to me “TELL ME MY MASTER, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU”. Unfortunately nothing of that sort happened. lil disappointed. Now you take that grey noodles and dip them in this syrup and slurp them in. WHOA .worth the preparation. I cant tell this is the taste I like or can call as love at first slurp but sure this is different. I expected Wasabi to taste like a pith pulp or like some Natraj plasto eraser, coz it did smell so pungent but looks tell like – hey am tasteless. This is one weird taste something like ginger mixed with Hajmola and perfumed with sweetened tincture. I swear it did taste like that. Now don’t ask me when I did taste all these b4. But this is what I felt just in case if we do. The best thing is I liked Wasabi. Sure this going to be a part of my regular delicacies from now on wards.

One more thing talking about SOBA the grey noodles, it has got high traditional values in Japan. This soba is eaten as an usher of good luck, prosperity and as a good omen. esp. when you move to a new house on new years day when you start some new venture etc, you start by eating Soba.

On the whole I enjoyed the lunch today, a typical traditional Japanese style, and awaiting what good luck this food going to bring me with all crossed fingers. No doubt these people are so healthy and have the highest life span rate in the world. Jai Jai Japan .!!!

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Rating 4.60 out of 5
Jan 072010

Hahahha…as most of the foreigners, I also became the scapegoat to the technology these Japanese have. Bagging the credit of shitting in 9 different countries of Europe above all being a typical Indian, wherever I go to do my calls I used to go with a coke bottle or some pet bottle, that too into washrooms designed for physically challenged people. Not because I use a wheel chair or I am physically challenged (touch wood) but thats the only place where we can find water outlets. Else u hardly find washbasins in toilets anywhere in Europe.

But here in Japan, it was a total new excitement n something to do with IQ. Did I say IQ…huhh.. Once I gave my MENSA for dummies test and the computer spat on me saying better not to take this test again in this life. So being skeptical about my IQ, as soon as I checked into the Hotel after my long haul flight from Singapore,  first thing to do was to run into toilet. There I saw some miniature space ship kind of gadget. I thought it was that alien EVE we see in this movie Wall-E.

Somehow thinking that it will talk to me or atleast wish me Hi I slowly touched it. Nothing happened. Then I realized it is some kind of commode these Japanese use to do shit. Some how I sat to do my course telling sorry just in case my thought comes alive and this alien shakes hand with me. At that thought I noticed one arm rest like panel, on my right hand side of the commode with some scriptures n symbols on it. Astonished and looking funny, I was puzzled thinking what the heck was this..? Is it some interactive gaming as Nintendo’s WII calling as score hitting while shitting kinds or is it some kind of gadget of CCTV for extra security. U can’t believe Japanese TRICKknowledge. Can’t take chances. So I was smiling all the way of my act if theres some web cam out there hidden so that I would look good n cheerful. Come on. Everybody wants to look good on TV. ..don’t we…?

Now am done…getting puzzled again what this touch panel is…to my remotest though I felt it has something to do with the act itself. whoa…the whole commode is digitalized. Am sitting on a digitalized commode at my service to do everything I want the pot to do. functions like 1) seat warming 2) initial auto sensors to flush lil bit as soon as u sit 3)deodorizers for odour absorption 4) flush sounds ( just the sounds ) to muzzle the droppings n embarrassing sounds 5) water sprayers with 5 levels of water pressure adjustment to clean 6) another spray for diff areas of ur butt 7) wide span sprinklers 8) stop button 9) timers cuts – just in case u did something wrong or over did things, esp for guys like me …lolz 10) blow dryers…etc etc…!!

What a way to shit. Being a lazy sloth am just so pleased and fascinated to see this technology. Forget the multi level subways or the bullet trains. This is just heaven. All u have to do is sit n shit. head over heels on this, I had a doubt, if theres some facility to have a robotic arm with a guided joystick where u can get the hose inserted into ur rectum n have the bionic enema injected n get the shit outta ya….just in case if you feel constipated. Good jeez nothing of that sort as of now. But u can always expect it. U never know. Japanese technology is the best….!! 😉

Now don’t dream with all these facilities. You have some panels completely in Japanese. You dont know what to press and how it responds. So next time you encounter these kind of commodes, I caution you do ur initial trial and error and get accustomed to the symbols. Else you end up either wetting you w’hole butt and dress or burning your base if the previous fellow has put the hot blower at max level or the commode thinks you as a female and have a total different set of cleaning functionality.

Its all just another way to blush with every flush. Have fun..!!

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Rating 4.78 out of 5