This is IT. The time has come for all of us to understand these big pussy cats. Everywhere we have been hearing this BUZZ word from Los Angels to Bengal. SAVE THE TIGERS only 1411 are left. While everyone is giving their share of contribution to this ecological problem, let this VIZARD take you still more deeper into this global issue and do some fault analysis that lead to this crisis we are facing now.
Somewhere I read, “Its not where you fell that is important but where you slipped”. Connecting this above quote to the present TIGER situation I feel the major problem is lying in lack of understanding the problem itself. Lets do some root cause analysis at this issue of endangering Tigers. Lets Question – Why is that the TIGER population is decreasing day by day…? What does this mean..?
I want all you people to have a PAUSE and think what would be the basic problem for this situation to arise. OK..come on everybody how many of you said the problem is “SEX”..? Please raise your hands and give me your smile. Damn…exact bang on the target. That is what I want to speak regarding. SEX is the root cause. As per MY-thology, these Tigers are bad lovers and suck when it comes to the art of Love making. Yeah I know India is the place where KamaSutra came from, but what to do with these Tigers..they cant read Sanskrit or infact any of the languages in which this KS translated into. As every great person has his/her own pit falls here is a sheer example of this majestic animal. They fail when it comes to the Principles of LUST. May be we should feed them with some aphrodisiac or we should remove any of the family planning techniques if they are implementing just in case.
We all know this proverb “Money is the root of all evil”. But I feel its not Money. Imagine you give some million dollars to each of the tiger? What will happen? Nothing. OK, lets be practical we give all that comfort for a million dollars to these lazy animals. Again whats the result? Nothing. They will sleep the whole day, eat and sleep and eat and sleep. Here I am not discriminating male and female tigers. They are all the same. At the worse they will become fat and they will sleep for some more. Do you see the problem? Its not the money. Its the lack of this urge is the problem. Give those tigers some shots of libido quotient improvement tonic. Inject them with some love potions. Drug them. Make them hang around with those lazy other wild cats. Make them make love. If they are bored of the same partner, get them or give them a chance to go inter racial or taste across geographies. Let the Siberian mate with a nice chubby Bengali. Let the yellow stripes mix around with some White stripes. We are not worried about what color as long as we are able to bring back the count. Numbers do matter. Help them.
While the Indian situation is like this, lets shift the focus to international arena. The scenario is total reverse. I heard of one Tiger in United States of America acting completely different than any of these Indian counter parts. That Tiger is so advanced in its genetics and evolution it can even play Golf. Its been sleeping with God knows with what kind of different pussy cats around the world, earning huge money and fame together. Even the American government was also worried about the screwing capabilities of this Tiger Pro and raised a hue and cry to stop this sex machine. I guess they call it as Tiger Woods. But as I say end of the day its the results that is important. Even that Tiger didn’t bring in much of newer generation by its acts of inter courses with different other species. It became scandalous but not much KIDS yet. That means whether in India or abroad bottom line is “Tigers are bad at SEX and reproduction”. So donating money, or doing preaching, hoarding bill boards and raising banners wont make these lazy bums to go and make love. All we can do is just hope they get into mood, go wild as their name, start screwing and populate. Lets all pray for that.
Now next time anyone calls you as “Son of a Tiger” or “Share ka puttar” or something related to the greatness of Tiger…phew…you should be knowing the reality answer that you are Bad in BED and cant reproduce and no one wants you. May be you will have to remain just happy and GAY. Whatever makes you feel fine. Now please share your ideas and give your comments on how we can teach these tigers to perform better and make babies.