Recently I had a dream. I was dead and I was at St. Peters gates. The entrance where you will be sent to Hell or Heaven depending on how much and what kind of FUN you had in your life. The whole place is as white as possible. All kinds of angels in transparent dresses, along with their playboy bunny clips. Nice seducing music as if they are playing “Principles of Lust” song of Enigma repeatedly since ages. The angels are in the best of their powder puffed pink skin, clad in as skimpy dresses as possible and I feel they all should be suffering from lower back problems for their endowment. GODs must be crazy I say. Seeing them I realized why we call someone whoz gorgeous as an ANGEL. Near the Pearly gates I saw people are being interviewed and anyone who has small chances of getting into Heaven are filtered by the answers they give at that entrance gate. I was excited, for my final luck and waited for my turn.
Suddenly one chubby angel appeared from no where with a pen and a paper. She said, “Hey YOU…isn’t your name VIZARD”..? I nodded as YES. Being a chivalrous guy I asked her, “Who are you mam”? She showed the small name tag which was placed over her décolleté with word “PRESS” inscribed on. I was like WOW..(reminded me of Pronothi Mukherjee..guys hope you remember her from my previous post )these angels sure knows how to treat their customers. Alas my thought was killed when she said she is angels’ journalist and a “PRESS” reporter. She takes interviews with people in random, for her internship thesis it seems. She got my history from her LAPTOP and the rapid fire Qs went on like this.
Angel(A) : Answer my Qs straight and even if you want to lie you cant and we let you speak only the truth and nothing but the truth.
Vizard(V) : Yes, beautifull. ( OOps..And I bit my tongue for my reflex answer.)
A : (Confused with my answer) Okay select one topic from these four options.
1) Quantum Physics 2) Financial management 3) Para-psychology 4) Women
V : WOMEN.
A : Why did you select this topic?
V : I like always love complex things. Its the only complex topic of all these four.
A : Do you like them?
V : Like is a substantial word. I just love them so much. I am a feminist. In fact if I am a woman I would be a lesbian.
A : Hmm…Any reason for this obsession?
V : Its not an obsession its the NAKED fact.
A : Can you tell us that Fact, keeping the Naked part aside.
V : They are the indirect rulers of this hole world. And I like Power to take into my hands.
A : Ohkay…So which half of women do you prefer to have for your self.
V : The front half.
A : Shed some light on the difference between a Gurl and a Woman.
V : Gurl has all things less in size comparative to a woman. I am talking in terms of brains and maturity factor. This is the main diff.
A : What is that you look in a women?
V : Beauty and BRAins.
A : Ever danced with a women?
V : Yes, horizontally.
A : Tell some more most sexiest words you ever heard apart from Women
V : Lady, Girl, Female..etc etc.
A : What is the best way to read a women?
V : Through Braille language. Touch and Try.
A : I keep hearing this quote that says, “All MEN are DOGS”. Why so?
V : Coz they are honest, they love LICKING…and its a STYLE.
A : Which temple you loved the best in your life?
V : Khajuraho temple.
A : Just tell me in two words your opinion about sex.
V : Yes, please. 😉
A : Whats your favorite color code for dress for a woman?
V : Transparent.
A : To which number do you associate the word WOMEN and why?
V : Number 8. That is the shape of a woman and that is how a woman should be. Thin at the waist and..
( Angel blushing and interrupting…) OOOOOOOk I get it.
A : What kind of animals you like..and Why..?
V : Mammals..and Why means..
(Interrupting me again..huh…)
A : …Ok Ok….no need to explain I can understand…next Q, Have u ever lied?
V : YES, I didn’t.
A : Do you believe in GOOD LUCK?
V : Of course who wouldn’t…ohh by the way you said LUCK..oops..sorry I heard it as something else. Nope..I don’t believe in LUCK factor.
A : Then how are you expecting to get into Heaven?
V : Nope I am not expecting anything. Where ever I am its heaVen for me..if its not I can make one for my own.
A : Appreciating your boldness and your chivalry. Best place is that you be back to Earth and help and make all those women live their life happily ever after.
V : Appreciating your EVERYTHING, thank u mam and hope to mate you soon..err..I mean meet me if you please..soon some day some way.
A : Will be looking for..take your own time. BLESS YOU Mister.
With this I woke up from my dream and felt myself as if I got Enlightened in BED…awww..!! Believe me readers if we take statistics, I feel BED is the only place where almost each one of us would have had our share of enlightenment and happiness. The place that transforms us, makes us grow think and be matured. Now write about your enlightenment just in case if you had one in your BED..and share your thoughts in the comment section.
I just love my BED thats where I do the BEST of my works…!!
By the way read the comments and my replies. And if you have given your comment come back and check for my reply. This will double amuse you.