Prologue: After reading this post, your bike riding or your on road experience will never be the same again. I bet this post of mine will totally change the way you look at people and sure to bring lot of fun and naughtiness as well as ignite new ideas and make your journey less tiring and more entertaining. Requesting you all to visualize when you are reading this to get the best out of this post.
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Being a single bachelor and an avid biker, I have inculcated this flair of entertaining myself in all the possible walks of my life. In this self-entertaining business, one thing which always fascinates me when I am riding a bike lies in observing the female pillion riders. Through these observations let me pick the top 7 entertaining pillion rider positions.
FYI: I used this term “Pillion rider” many a times, meaning the person who is seated on the back seat of the bike while riding.

1) The caterpillar girl: This is the most commonly found pillion rider who resembles a giant spring totally covered with flashy socks. The multiple spring like folds she has on her sides covered in a gaudy top always makes her look like a caterpillar on steroids from behind. May be these girls need this much in built suspension to sustain the bumpy Indian roads. Good for them. Next time you see a caterpillar girl please don’t spray pesticide on her. They are harmless.

2) Face off fellies: This category consists of busty females who sit to one side on the bike with crossed legs. This is quiet an acceptable position. But the spice is that they hold their top leg knee with both the hands embossing their bosom as if their want to seduce each and every on lookers. Phew. Having a major
soft corner for such females this is enough to get my adrenalin give me a kick and in this situation do we really care how her face is? No way. That’s why I call such females as Face off fellies. Long live these kinds.

3) Space bar girls: This is the saddest of all the categories. This funny seating happens when the girl sitting behind is not close to the diver or may be just a hi-bye friend or using the guy for her purpose. Coz of this, she sits as far as possible almost on back handle bar holding the farthest part of the bike may be the number plate if she could, making the driver feel he is suffering from some deadly contagious disease or may be they believe that touching a guy can cause pregnancy. There will be so much space in between them, where you can fit in one rolled Kurl-On mattress easily. Huhh…!!

4) Coin boxes: This section of riders are much prevalent in the colleges infested areas and sure a feast to eyes. These kinds of girls are ultra modern with care-free attitude. So are their dressings. They would generally be sporting a low waist jeans and sit in a piggy back position, in such a way that you can actually
see their butt cleavage. Being a pious guy it resembles me of a HUNDI and feel like putting a coin or two inside that at the next red signal and make a wish. Color color what color…shhh gup chup.

5) High Definition HD: Sorry guys I am revealing your secret here. And girls I want you to be aware of this thing guys tend to do. Guys when riding bikes at night times, whenever they encounter a nice lady pillion in front of them, involuntarily their bike head light switches to high beam revealing lot many things about that girl as if you are seeing in HD screen. If you are good at mathematics esp geometry, now you do the calculations, pattern recognitions and color codes. Girls beware and be-aware of such pranks. The good news is that times are changing. I noticed girls doing this to guys too. The balance is done. All is fair in love and bike riding.

6)SIN-derellas: This section of girls are generally termed as ‘The Babes’. They are so bold and attention seeking. They are usually found hugging their guys so tight, any more squeeze they would infact come from his front side. They are so crazy, given a chance they would definitely make sex on the bike itself. All you have to do is ride the bike and rest of the riding they would do. This is what I pray when I put the coin into that Coin box category girl’s, that every guy should get at least one SINderella in his life. He will learn and grow up in life. Everybody loves learning. Don’t we?

7)Tulsi Bhabhi : Do you remember this lead female by name TULSI in this never ending saga ” Kyun ki Saans Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi” serial? She is the kind of a person every traditional Indian female wants to be like her and every Indian male wants to screw her just out of curiosity how she would be in bed. Ditto to this mind set this category consists of females looking like Tulsi Bhabhi riding the back seat, so innocent and so naive. She always has her hand placed on the front upper thigh of her guy slightly on the right side of his crotch. Any jerk or bump will make her press that part for extra grip. God damn..I wonder how can anyone ride a bike normal with a lady’s hand there. If my girl does that to me sure I will have a spare bike in my Bedroom.

So folks, apart from these 7 categories, the rest of the people are just void and there is nothing much one should consider regarding them. Rest is up to your imagination and am sure you would start seeing things from this enhanced eye and get your naughty bone tickled.

Above all whether it is a bike or anything else, you better Drive safe and always wear a HELMET.

The best thing GOD did in his life was to create a WOMAN. Just this reason is more than enough for me to pray GOD and adore his creation. Love you GOD. Tusi Great HO. Despite my enormous respect, love, craving and fascination for his creation, I always end up funny when it comes to talking with girls. Here are some tit-bits from my experiences.
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After my gym I had a hot shower and just came directly out of it. As I was drying myself under the fan, gota call from one of my friend. She asked me where am I? I said, “I am under the fan”. She couldn’t hear the last word and said,”Under where..”? I said, “No under wear. Have to wear it”. Beeeeeeeeeeeeep. She hung up the phone.
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Was on phone with one nice chubby girl, on phone I mean the phone is not big enough for me and her to be sitting or sleeping or doing whatever its just that to say I was talking with her. The conversation went on like:

Me : Hoi, what are you doing for the weekend?
Chubby girl : Oh Vizzy, am going for shopping in commercial street..(giggles)..I just loooove shopping…(giggles).
Me : Oh wow..what do you want to buy..?
Chubby girl : I want to buy some “finger rings”…!
Me : (Shocked to her answer to the core)..Really…fingerings…? :O:O:O Gurlie why go there to buy,
come to my room I will give you free.

She hung up the phone. That’s why I say, Free service never has its value in this world. Huhh..!
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This one made be ROFL:
I can still remember her. A fair North Indian female and a visual treat. I was in one project discussion with her and we are discussing regarding memory leak issues. Most of the discussion went with words like messages..memory etc. Sentences like “This memory leak is always a problem for me”…”Why are we sending messages to that address of the memory”…”This is a wrong message”…”This is sucking off the memory”..”No more memory”..”Memory is full”..”memory allocation/deallocation”..”message sequencing”..”memory structure”..and whole lot of discussion. Now the irony: Her North Indian accent makes her pronounce the word “memory” as “mammary” and ‘message” as “massage”. Now read all those lines I said above replacing those two words as specified.
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Now-a-days the IT field is picking up after recession, everyone sending resumes to everyone and checking on that. This extra soft acquaintance of mine called me and we started talking about IT, recession, recruitments etc. Suddenly she asked me if I have anything open for her. I said “LEGS”. Before I realized my involuntary answer, she hung up the phone saying she will drink water and then call me. Past a week I guess she is still drinking water. Huhh..
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Another incident happened on the similar kind of topic on my office communicator with this innocent puffed girl.
She : Hey V, this is my sister’s resume and I am sending this only to you and want you to fwd it among your friends please.
Me : Whats that big about me..? Why don’t you do it yourself and send it to all?
She : Noooooo. Your circle is bigger than mine. You know me na, I have a very small circle. Thats why.
Trust me, I don’t know which circle she is talking about and I didn’t had guts to cross check that with her. Hard to keep quiet. Phew.
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This will rip your ribs for sure. Once I was speaking about my mom’s sisters with this girl who I got to know recently. In my language mom’s sister(mausi) is called as Pinni. I was telling that my elder Pinni is the one who used to take care and baby sit me in my childhood. My younger Pinni used to teach and take care of our studies and schooling blah blah..!! Suddenly due to out of coverage area the phone got disconnected. I called her back and asked her, what was I saying. One of the shocking answers I ever heard in my life, she said, “You were telling me about your Pinnis”. I jumped in my shoes and almost had a cardiac.Grasping for my breathe I said, “What the heck, when did I start telling about parts of my body”? She hung up the phone. Lifes like that. I hate this Beeeeep beeeeeep sound.
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Request to my dear readers :
Teach me how to win girls and make friendship with them. Save a bachelor. Use the comment board and enlighten me.