Sep 172010

Recently I had a dream. I was dead and I was at St. Peters gates. The entrance where you will be sent to Hell or Heaven depending on how much and what kind of FUN you had in your life. The whole place is as white as possible. All kinds of angels in transparent dresses, along with their playboy bunny clips. Nice seducing music as if they are playing “Principles of Lust” song of Enigma repeatedly since ages. The angels are in the best of their powder puffed pink skin, clad in as skimpy dresses as possible and I feel they all should be suffering from lower back problems for their endowment. GODs must be crazy I say. Seeing them I realized why we call someone whoz gorgeous as an ANGEL. Near the Pearly gates I saw people are being interviewed and anyone who has small chances of getting into Heaven are filtered by the answers they give at that entrance gate. I was excited, for my final luck and waited for my turn.

Suddenly one chubby angel appeared from no where with a pen and a paper. She said, “Hey YOU…isn’t your name VIZARD”..? I nodded as YES. Being a chivalrous guy I asked her, “Who are you mam”? She showed the small name tag which was placed over her décolleté with word “PRESS” inscribed on. I was like WOW..(reminded me of Pronothi Mukherjee..guys hope you remember her from my previous post )these angels sure knows how to treat their customers. Alas my thought was killed when she said she is angels’ journalist and a “PRESS” reporter. She takes interviews with people in random, for her internship thesis it seems. She got my history from her LAPTOP and the rapid fire Qs went on like this.

Angel(A) : Answer my Qs straight and even if you want to lie you cant and we let you speak only the truth and nothing but the truth.
Vizard(V) : Yes, beautifull.  ( OOps..And I bit my tongue for my reflex answer.)

A : (Confused with my answer) Okay select one topic from these four options.
1) Quantum Physics 2) Financial management 3) Para-psychology 4) Women

A : Why did you select this topic?
V : I like always love complex things. Its the only complex topic of all these four. 🙂

A : Do you like them?
V : Like is a substantial word. I just  love them so much. I am a feminist. In fact if I am a woman I would be a lesbian.

A : Hmm…Any reason for this obsession?
V : Its not an obsession its the NAKED fact.

A : Can you tell us that Fact, keeping the Naked part aside.
V : They are the indirect rulers of this hole world. And I like Power to take into my hands.

A : Ohkay…So which half of women do you prefer to have for your self.
V : The front half.

A : Shed some light on the difference between a Gurl and a Woman.
V : Gurl has all things less in size comparative to a woman. I am talking in terms of brains and maturity factor. This is the main diff.

A : What is that you look in a women?
V : Beauty and BRAins.

A : Ever danced with a women?
V : Yes, horizontally.

A : Tell some more most sexiest words you ever heard apart from Women
V : Lady, Girl, Female..etc etc.

A : What is the best way to read a women?
V : Through Braille language. Touch and Try.

A : I keep hearing this quote that says, “All MEN are DOGS”. Why so?
V : Coz they are honest, they love LICKING…and its a STYLE.

A : Which temple you loved the best in your life?
V : Khajuraho temple.

A : Just tell me in two words your opinion about sex.
V : Yes, please. 😉

A : Whats your favorite color code for dress for a woman?
V : Transparent.

A : To which number do you associate the word WOMEN and why?
V : Number 8. That is the shape of a woman and that is how a woman should be. Thin at the waist and..

( Angel blushing and interrupting…) OOOOOOOk I get it.

A : What kind of animals you like..and Why..?
V : Mammals..and Why means..

(Interrupting me again..huh…)

A : …Ok Ok….no need to explain I can understand…next Q, Have u ever lied?
V : YES, I didn’t.

A : Do you believe in GOOD LUCK?
V : Of course who wouldn’t…ohh by the way you said LUCK..oops..sorry I heard it as something else. Nope..I don’t believe in LUCK factor.

A : Then how are you expecting to get into Heaven?
V : Nope I am not expecting anything. Where ever I am its heaVen for me..if its not I can make one for my own.

A : Appreciating your boldness and your chivalry. Best place is that you be back to Earth and help and make all those women live their life happily ever after.
V : Appreciating your EVERYTHING, thank u mam and hope to mate you soon..err..I mean meet me if you please..soon some day some way.
A : Will be looking for..take your own time. BLESS YOU Mister.

With this I woke up from my dream and felt myself as if I got Enlightened in BED…awww..!! Believe me readers if we take statistics, I feel BED is the only place where almost each one of us would have had our share of enlightenment and happiness. The place that transforms us, makes us grow think and be matured. Now write about your enlightenment just in case if you had one in your BED..and share your thoughts in the comment section.

I just love my BED thats where I do the BEST of my works…!!

By the way read the comments and my replies. And if you have given your comment come back and check for my reply. This will double amuse you.

Please share if any of your bone got TICKLED
Rating 4.21 out of 5

  34 Responses to “Enlightenment in BED”

  1. Hi ‘V ‘ !

    oh…… is naughty …………but a thing of beauty !

  2. The front half/// – meeku mundhu choopu ekkuva.

    was the angel pressed, i mean was she impressed?

    Liked is a substantial word. I just… racha anthe…

  3. Hmm
    what shall i say here …VIZ ..this is the place INTO which u hv put ur SOUL….and readers this is the VIZARD we all know ….Naughty …Hilarious and CHEEKY…HIGHly cheeky….hd a great time reading it ..the whole scene is an act of a flawless drollery..may ur dreams prosper and u continue to sleep.

    Readers Rejoice

    • AWWWrchana..If the JUDGE is a nice CHUBBY ANGEL kinds..sure I will have my escapade with HER..!!
      As such am brewing my DREAMS…soon they gonna come true..may be in Sweet November..!!

  4. rulers of this ‘HOLE’ world…..idi keka po hero…
    ante,migilinavi kaava,ani kaadu….anni kekallo,idi pedda keka:-)

  5. Hi V… epudi ardamaindi neevu ekkuvaga enduku padukuntavo, Q & A are too good funny, nauty and I know u r creative guy. keep posting, I can’t tell u more than this becoz naaku kalalu raavu and vachhe chanse ledu present in future i can’t say, dont misunderstand I always short of …….. Keep rocking with ur creatives. Fulluga nidrapo and keep ………..

  6. ur creative and innovative thots abt angels are super cool and simply innate talent..! angel blushing for ur answers..hehehe..nice :)…

    interesting column from a different perspective..! and the dream is well translated to the readers..! keep going..!

  7. hey enti ee dream chala variety ga vundi…aina elanti dreams ee vastaya neku……baboi…….kani too much answers..

  8. you r just wasting your valuable time on this useless site. divert your energy into some positive and useful things. you need not share your thoughts on this kind of biological needs which are quite natural and people like u r erasing the difference between love and sex. i just hate ur site

    • hi “neednot know”…yeah..theres so much to write about women and all tat great stuff. if i start writing on the philosophical or the reality side i cant stop. but this is more on the lighter vein and not on any serious note. i strongly believe women tops the food chain and any day better than a man. shez just great and wowsome. nothing beats her thought process, and to describe her endurance of physical and mental stress goes beyond the capability of any mankind. but as of now enjoy the posts on the funnier side. 🙂 🙂

  9. Hi V,
    what do you expect me to comment huh?? hehee… 😛
    if a post of ya could be naughty, funny, hilarious OR informative, or portion of all potions, then this is purely naughty.

    Now I get, why you sleep so much and how you know so many things…!!
    happy sleeping…. enjoying getting enlightened…!! 🙂
    more expected… 🙂

  10. Awsome buddy…
    Nice one…

  11. V, grow UP! 😉 Stop Dreaming… Get Real 😛

  12. man, u r rocking…

    the best part is the Angel interrupting and saying, “….OOOOOOOk I get it ….” and “.…Ok Ok….no need to explain I can understand ….”

    Last but not the least,

    “A : So which half of women do you prefer to have for your self.
    V : The front half ”

    u r awesome ….
    keep it coming ….

    • Hahahaa…yeah am good at geometry. So vertical dissection and I take the FRONT half.
      Jindhagi mein “Aage bhado” means this only.

  13. I was shocked to note that there your fav. no. is 8; but not 69

  14. Hey Vizard..!!
    chaala differentga vundi..!answers anni bale vunnaye!kothagaa dream!

  15. “yes,i didnt” this answer is gud…! starting paraGRAPH is top…gud one…!!

  16. this light in the bed………..i tried but didnt work………………exploring in dark………its always an adventure………..

    anyways,………..its wooooow as ur earlier ones………….”u will be lesbian if u were a woman”…………i would hav seduced u if u were………………..

  17. “V : Yes, horizontally.”…this was terrific

  18. Good Job Dude..Keep it coming..I meant the blog posts

  19. hey Vizard…..

    good one…..your answers where terrific… just loved it…..

    keep writing….

 Leave a Reply

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>