Apr 142010

This is IT. The time has come for all of us to understand these big pussy cats. Everywhere we have been hearing this BUZZ word from Los Angels to Bengal. SAVE THE TIGERS only 1411 are left. While everyone is giving their share of contribution to this ecological problem, let this VIZARD take you still more deeper into this global issue and do some fault analysis that lead to this crisis we are facing now.

Somewhere I read, “Its not where you fell that is important but where you slipped”. Connecting this above quote to the present TIGER situation I feel the major problem is lying in lack of understanding the problem itself. Lets do some root cause analysis at this issue of endangering Tigers. Lets Question – Why is that the TIGER population is decreasing day by day…? What does this mean..?

I want all you people to have a PAUSE and think what would be the basic problem for this situation to arise. OK..come on everybody how many of you said the problem is “SEX”..? Please raise your hands and give me your smile. Damn…exact bang on the target. That is what I want to speak regarding. SEX is the root cause. As per MY-thology, these Tigers are bad lovers and suck when it comes to the art of Love making. Yeah I know India is the place where KamaSutra came from, but what to do with these Tigers..they cant read Sanskrit or infact any of the languages in which this KS translated into. As every great person has his/her own pit falls here is a sheer example of this majestic animal. They fail when it comes to the Principles of LUST. May be we should feed them with some aphrodisiac or we should remove any of the family planning techniques if they are implementing just in case.

We all know this proverb “Money is the root of all evil”. But I feel its not Money. Imagine you give some million dollars to each of the tiger? What will happen? Nothing. OK, lets be practical we give all that comfort for a million dollars to these lazy animals. Again whats the result? Nothing. They will sleep the whole day, eat and sleep and eat and sleep. Here I am not discriminating male and female tigers. They are all the same. At the worse they will become fat and they will sleep for some more. Do you see the problem? Its not the money. Its the lack of this urge is the problem. Give those tigers some shots of libido quotient improvement tonic. Inject them with some love potions. Drug them. Make them hang around with those lazy other wild cats. Make them make love. If they are bored of the same partner, get them or give them a chance to go inter racial or taste across geographies. Let the Siberian mate with a nice chubby Bengali. Let the yellow stripes mix around with some White stripes. We are not worried about what color as long as we are able to bring back the count. Numbers do matter. Help them.

While the Indian situation is like this, lets shift the focus to international arena. The scenario is total reverse. I heard of one Tiger in United States of America acting completely different than any of these Indian counter parts. That Tiger is so advanced in its genetics and evolution it can even play Golf. Its been sleeping with God knows with what kind of different pussy cats around the world, earning huge money and fame together. Even the American government was also worried about the screwing capabilities of this Tiger Pro and raised a hue and cry to stop this sex machine. I guess they call it as Tiger Woods. But as I say end of the day its the results that is important. Even that Tiger didn’t bring in much of newer generation by its acts of inter courses with different other species. It became scandalous but not much KIDS yet. That means whether in India or abroad bottom line is “Tigers are bad at SEX and reproduction”. So donating money, or doing preaching, hoarding bill boards and raising banners wont make these lazy bums to go and make love. All we can do is just hope they get into mood, go wild as their name, start screwing and populate. Lets all pray for that.

Now next time anyone calls you as “Son of a Tiger” or “Share ka puttar” or something related to the greatness of Tiger…phew…you should be knowing the reality answer that you are Bad in BED and cant reproduce and no one wants you. May be you will have to remain just happy and GAY. Whatever makes you feel fine. Now please share your ideas and give your comments on how we can teach these tigers to perform better and make babies.

Please share if any of your bone got TICKLED
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  23 Responses to “Save the Tigers”

  1. nice pics of tigers

  2. hey Sparky
    superb concept……….mana PULI rajuni oka kotta koonam lo chupettaru sir……..awesome
    hattsoff for ur brains!!!!!!!!

  3. ur root cause analysis…innovation to the core..! waaa waaa..kudos..! :)…

    hmmmm..in this age of IT, giving alternative solutions are kinda mandatory…

    recommended option 1 (always) -> tiger is a mammal na… then simple..give the required Vitamin V, problem solved.. ;)…

    option 2 -> generate test tube ‘tiger’ cubs with high libido quotient..and don’t forget to do performance testing..no compromise on the quality eh.. ;)..

  4. hmmmm ……aphrodisiac !!! no way …jus inject dose tigers a shot of VIZARD’s blood(which he donated already in da prev post HOT BLOOD)tigers will b no longer called as SHARE kaa puttar but has VIZARD’s share in it.

  5. Hmmmmmmm…thats interesting..i never thought of tigers in such a way….i thought tigers are role models….i agree with u with the slogan “share ka puttar” .now people will stop saying that word…and i dont think people know this …they say share ka puttar because tigers are strong and brave..and ofcourse kings and queens of jungle…..so in that case they must be comparing.
    your post is informative and true…because we know tigers only one side of the coin,the other side u revealed.hoping for best ,,…..and praying from my side that tigers shud give more more babies……….and rise the number…

  6. Yea infact we have the biological(social,moral laaga idi vokkati) responsibility to teach them about intercourse and teaching and giving them KS! what say bro?

  7. V..! ok lets make it. I mean lets save tiger. will go to safari teach them how to make it and save world :).

  8. LOL!! neva thot of this regarding “Save Tigers” ..totally surprised

  9. lol.. that’s a good point..and the narration was simply superb. Enjoyed every bit of your post. Hope it’l be read by the authorities concerned…i bet it’l be hard for them to ignore..:P 😉 keep going…cheers 🙂

  10. puli cinema ki maanchi -ve marketing icchav hero…
    ippatike,evaraina ‘nuv puli ra’ ante edustaru…
    nee story chusaka,’nuv tiger ra’ anna kuda edavali:-)
    mottaniki…’puli’horu baavundi:-)

  11. 🙂 as Siri said, i was awestruck with the correlation of Tiger woods with the theme. I loved this post a lot. When ever i heard ppl crying Save tigers, i had this question..”Is it ONLY because of hunting, tigers are getting extinct??” Now i have a reason for my reasoning 🙂

    We should now say..” To live..its not just, Love and Let LOVE..but MAKE LOVE too ” 😀

    V-> reached expectations.. 🙂

    • hey witty…perfectly said brather…!! after all we should always believe in this slogan. Make LOVE not WAR. Especially with the middle east people.

      • oh god…!! you guys na…
        but, narrowing to “especiallys” even with tigers, is what might be making them next to extinct.

        Whatever, i loved those slogans too… 🙂
        making best use of ‘make’ in make love slogans… hehee…!!

  12. heyy… VIZARD strikes againn… asalu aa idealu enti swamiiii…

    Here frm the lines…” “Son of a Tiger” or “Share ka puttar” ” I just remembered AIDS campaign…. “PULI RAJA” andukee.. pettaremoo aa linee….!! baaagaaa…. vichalavidi gaa.. chesi chesiii… inkaa alasi… solasii… unna tarvataa PULIRAJA ayipotadu ani daani ardham ayyuntundi antaavaa..???

    • kic kic kicc…pappu..this is another twist. but its the results that are imp. puli raja didn’t had any kids :(..!!
      we need kids…as many as possible. lotta girl childs.. :P:P:P

  13. oohahhaa…naughty…
    we’ll consult some chemists to make stronger aphrodisiacs, especially for tigers. may be they made and was tried by our Tiger, i mean, tiger woods…haha.. maan… when i went thru the post, i was just awestruck as where did this man come from…??!!
    hehee…sure it rib-tickled me.. 😀 😀
    btw, the second pic in order was like… No comments…

    • hey sirisha…appreciating your observation. that second pic was a rare shot from NGC of a white siberian making with the yellow chubby bengali. have u seen parineeta movie…? u can see a similar scene in that too. 😉

  14. umm…sounds great!! share ka puttar! bahuth khoob 😛 V’ i think this is the major problem..what u said is right…so do we need to supply our south indian demi-goddess shakila cd’s to all zoos?? 😛

    • hey ki2, i guess so. may be we should send her clad in tiger skin and stripes put everywhere. i want these lovely cats to be happy and make babies as many as possible. atleast i want them to try it out. i love these big cats.

  15. hey Vizard chill!! these ideas really seem to b working!! we all should join to ignite tigers and rise their population!!! ur ideas must reach the animal welfare org too!! haha!!

  16. ……. I am so moved with your concern for this animal which i had once thought to be ferocious….now u have made me realize that these guys are not as harmful as the ONE I know….ok..but really ..your responsibility towards the environment is commendable……..there must be someone from Tiger Conservation Board,reading this..all I want to say to them is..please drink a glass of cold water and relax..we all love tigers..all we want is that they shud love each other too..thats it..thats the message here.

    APPLAUSE in slow motion…with olympics theme playing behind.

    • hi achu..thanks for understanding my concern. these animals are still FEROCIOUS just that they are not showing their potential at the places they are supposed to show. we all want them to be happy and make babies. above all CATS are my most fav animals.

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