Feb 102010
 

This topic goes way beyond time and space. To your fortune, some of those queries which Einstein couldn’t answer I will try to answer them here. Let me take you to that point which is called as the start of time. Nothing was there except God. Suddenly he said “Let there be LIGHT” and there was light. Still nothing was there, but you can see that clear. For God the week starts on Monday. Next 6 days he worked like an IT guy with crash crunch dead lines in making the World. He created Adam and he felt that ADAM is missing some things. His thought was correct. Then he created Eve and I can say, that is his best creation till now. After the 6th day he felt tired and took rest. So it was a holiday for him and we call that as SUNDAY.

Now these two, Adam and Eve roamed naked in the Eden garden. They were the first unregistered members of PETA. Coz they never ate Non-veg nor tasted any flesh. Being naked also didn’t help them much. When things are this worse, Serpent came. Now I will snap on your head if you ask why God created serpent. May be he likes reality shows or to increase his TRP ratings he would have created this Big Boss, called serpent. Serpent came with an Apple and lured Adam. People think that Serpent want to take revenge on God but I feel Serpent is a GAY. So he in his flashy dress gave this Apple to Adam. But Adam being a chivalrous guy like me shared that with Eve, anyway he don’t have  any other option.

Suddenly the revelations started to happen. It was like injecting Encyclopedia of Britannica with Google algorithm into each other. They started to realize the Ifs and BUTTS, the UPs and DOWNs and all those kinetic theories, laws of motion and nature. Under one Bodhi tree they did the inevitable,  made LOVE. That is what is called “The Big Bang theory”. This is the reality. Rest of the chemical and astro physical laws are all for head ache. If man would have realized this reality, world would have been still a better place. FYI: With this they lost their eternal membership from PETA for tasting flesh. But they didn’t care and even they were pro Global WARMing. At that time its needed anyway.

One more interesting fact is that, its the Adam who preceded Newton in discovering Gravitational pull. Needn’t to mention that Apple was the reason for both of them to discover this force of Magnetism. The only difference is, Newton’s was vertical, where as Adam’s was horizontal. We are least bothered about the direction, but lets concentrate on this powerful outcomes and its SINfluence. Newton said Earth is a big magnet. Adam realized Woman is the big magnet. I feel Adam is correct.

As I said Adam and Eve made love under a Bodhi tree, now you should co-relate its importance. Maybe thats the reason how Buddha got his enlightenment under the same tree. One more important thing to discuss is this Big Bang happened on the 18th day. That is the reason why the number 18 is a notation for Adult content. The red Octagon. It is even the cut off age for anyone to be called as an Adult. Even to vote in a democratic country like India, we need to cross this age 18. Now you know why it is called as Adult Franchise. That is why we all learn our alphabets beginning with A for Apple which directly or indirectly a reason to teach all our kids that, all you fellas are the results caused by this wonderful fruit. Even we hear this saying “An Apple a day keeps the doctor away”. But not to forget its contemporary extension “If the doctor is cute, screw the fruit”. Yes I always give the credit to Eve.

Next time when you eat an Apple or you hear kids learning A for Apple, you know the reason as why and what is the underlying story and the credits this awesome fruit brings to us all.  Now give your comments below and have a nice Big Bang day.

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  31 Responses to “A for Apple”

  1. I enjoyed reading this fun filled story. Definitely, the characters of the story, viz. The Creator, Adam, Eve, The Serpent, including the First Apple in creation, all must have equally enjoyed this story because in recent past they might not have seen any being thinking about them ! There is philosophical meaning of the Apple, Serpent etc. But, if I touch it now, the atmosphere will suddenly turn serious. So not now.

    • Thank u for stopping on my site Sir. Am also a guy whoz more into philosophy just for the reason..I feel all philosophy is crap. Philosophy is more about Mind and all you need is a HEAD. I believe in existence and experience. Am more into WHY than HOW. But still am interested to know about the philosophical meaning, and dont worry I know how to turn it humorous than serious. Stay connected.

      • In the beginning, there was direct communication between man and God. We can see it in our mythology also. Apple indicates the fruit OF ACTIONS. If it was India, He could have told about Mango. If it was Eygipt, He could have told about Watermilon.He told Adam and Eve not to EAT (think of the fruit of their actions actions ) for they might go away from Him. But Serpent, the one who injected the venom of selfishness into the mind of Eve, lured Eve to taste the Apple. She did and in spite of Adam’s warning, enjoyed it. As a result, they lost the ability of direct communocation with God. They had two sons. One with the mind of Adam and the other with the mind of Eve, who was evil enough to kill his brother. And that evil spread and spread as a virus in the world, whereever they went.

        Our philosophy tells the same thing. You have no right on the fruit of your actions. You only have the responsibility to do righteously your duty. God decides and gives whatever one deserves for his actions.

        Not the end…

        • nice narration. adding to this..they even had another son by name SETH…apart from KANE and able. whatever am still curious to know how did the third generation took place. conspiracy theory i guess. 😉

          and god giving things to the one s/he deserves…hmmmm…yep. i guess so. he said this to me recently too.
          okay that was in my dream. :P:P

  2. ifs and butts HAHAHA..good one… very nice.. now i will definetly teach my students about APPLE before i jump to Evolution and Life..:P

  3. I love this image…”newton_apple_tree” and global warming

    • and also…

      Even we hear this saying “An Apple a day keeps the doctor away”. But not to forget its contemporary extension “If the doctor is cute, screw the fruit”. Yes I always give the credit to Eve.

  4. nice !!!

  5. That kinda explains why i hated apple before my marriage and why i like it now [;)]

    • hey nitu…kic kic kicc…!! seems u r really enjoying ur life DOWN UNDER, i mean..in AUSSIE LAND..! ;-)))))))) am happy for u. thanks for stopping by my site.

  6. normally i say sorry to others,for being late. But now I am sorry for myself to be late in reading this. Simple-Short- and Sweet..
    For kids we say A for apple and no more..!! and for adults.. No more is always an exciting lure..!! So this swiftly explains.. Importance of Apple.. 🙂
    Very refreshing relation, tarred with the brush of ur style…
    SEXEST example of Transgressional thinking.. 🙂
    loved it bra..

    Witty

    • thanks brather..! “transgressional thinking”…oh my..now i shud start my transcendental meditation to understand such a too big a word.

  7. My all concepts of Big BANG THEORY is cleared now .

    Probably if any one could have came up with these examples during my school days,I would have scored better marks in PHYSICS.

    Now I can explain anybody BIG BANG THEORY and what does Apple symbolizes with live examples hahahahaha.

  8. They were the first unregistered members of PETA. ohahhahaha GOD BLESS YOUR WIFE AND KIDS :P. The best store teller after you would be your kids 😛 i guess .Poor Teacher who will teach A for Apple to Your SON :D.

  9. look at Adam with a hanging maple leaf .. ohahahaha …. I am sure a gentle blow of the wind wld have shown eve a free premier of ” Gone with the wind ” movie p 😉 …

  10. Achu ka Sandy 😉

    Letter A mein itna dum hai kya. Powerful letter.
    wow. lol 😉 I thought Big bang theory is al abt super powerful explosion n cosmological effects, but now tho saaf taraf se samaaj gaya. Hats off to Einstein he determined only few stuffs like E=MC2 blah. . blah. . and al de remaining r cited here wel. Abi to sab aam aadami(Mango People) hav 2 b with patha(Leafs). 😉

    Smart Work Vizard. Gracias.

    • hey sandy…dunno who u r..but thanks for ur coment. don’t under estimate the power of A. especially when it is inverted as V.

  11. hilarious….wonderful…ahh now certainly my hands alerts me when i see an apple 😛 😛 and by the way V.. can u give me a reason for apples being red in color?? 😛

    • hey ki2: thanks for being regular on my site..n adorning it with ur comments. apples r red in color..coz its like a warning indication for u..that anything can happen once u start eating. anyway we designers dont care warnings. 😉 we are worried abt only the errors.

  12. oohahaha..
    a typically Vizard’s post..
    i loved the reality show ka part..=))
    n wat a concept man..serpent a gay??=))rofl..
    a for apple..the story behind is learnt,
    next b for ball,
    c for cat..d for dog,e for eagle,f for ….
    cud u kindly educate us with these things also??;)

  13. forget newton , Eve and so called education system , I give all the credit to you for letting me know the importance of apple … Along with the importance of the apple i have realized one more fact from your write up that , Even I am a PETA member inspire of being a Non vegetarian 😉

    Hilarious and outstanding post Vizard… keep it up ,down or where ever you want 🙂

    • OOhaaaaa..VJ…
      u r a PETA member and a Non-vegetarian. This is freakin hilarious. as long as the skin show is considered am also am also a PETA member – same pinch. may be i shud come in a maple leaf dress tomorrow.

  14. i am completely tongue tied…i know i wanted to comment on it the moment i read it..but must admit it took me some time..to calm down and write something substantial as ..physics cudnt have been more easy than this way……and ur theory of co-relation….between no 18..and big bang..and letter A….u shud be nominated for nobel…

    Vizard does it again….
    APPLAUSE.

    • hey achu..am not yet that great to be nominated for nobel. may be i will write some book down the time on some woman’s name and probably i may win hookers prize. but for noBEL the BELL gong has gone CONK. hope my post did tickle ur naughty bone..!

  15. too good Vinee, all my fundas and confusions got cleared now.
    i will send my kids to you for tuition classes before i send them off to kindergarden
    it will save me a lot of trouble explaining things… 😛 😉

  16. oohahaa… [:P]
    i felt as if am going through “the book of facts” written after an R&D of an association of Ph.D’s. Hope i wouldn’t refer future children this link, for the threat of their school lives getting screwed… 😉

    as always, awesome post dear… 🙂

    Big Bang theory…lol.. no comments… 😉

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