Jan 112010

The best thing GOD did in his life was to create a WOMAN. Just this reason is more than enough for me to pray GOD and adore his creation. Love you GOD. Tusi Great HO. Despite my enormous respect, love, craving and fascination for his creation, I always end up funny when it comes to talking with girls. Here are some tit-bits from my experiences.

After my gym I had a hot shower and just came directly out of it. As I was drying myself under the fan, gota call from one of my friend. She asked me where am I? I said, “I am under the fan”. She couldn’t hear the last word and said,”Under where..”? I said, “No under wear. Have to wear it”. Beeeeeeeeeeeeep. She hung up the phone.

Was on phone with one nice chubby girl, on phone I mean the phone is not big enough for me and her to be sitting or sleeping or doing whatever its just that to say I was talking with her. The conversation went on like:

Me : Hoi, what are you doing for the weekend?
Chubby girl : Oh Vizzy, am going for shopping in commercial street..(giggles)..I just loooove shopping…(giggles).
Me : Oh wow..what do you want to buy..?
Chubby girl : I want to buy some “finger rings”…!
Me : (Shocked to her answer to the core)..Really…fingerings…? :O:O:O Gurlie why go there to buy,
come to my room I will give you free.

She hung up the phone. That’s why I say, Free service never has its value in this world. Huhh..!

This one made be ROFL:
I can still remember her. A fair North Indian female and a visual treat. I was in one project discussion with her and we are discussing regarding memory leak issues. Most of the discussion went with words like messages..memory etc. Sentences like “This memory leak is always a problem for me”…”Why are we sending messages to that address of the memory”…”This is a wrong message”…”This is sucking off the memory”..”No more memory”..”Memory is full”..”memory allocation/deallocation”..”message sequencing”..”memory structure”..and whole lot of discussion. Now the irony: Her North Indian accent makes her pronounce the word “memory” as “mammary” and ‘message” as “massage”. Now read all those lines I said above replacing those two words as specified.

Now-a-days the IT field is picking up after recession, everyone sending resumes to everyone and checking on that. This extra soft acquaintance of mine called me and we started talking about IT, recession, recruitments etc. Suddenly she asked me if I have anything open for her. I said “LEGS”. Before I realized my involuntary answer, she hung up the phone saying she will drink water and then call me. Past a week I guess she is still drinking water. Huhh..

Another incident happened on the similar kind of topic on my office communicator with this innocent puffed girl.
She : Hey V, this is my sister’s resume and I am sending this only to you and want you to fwd it among your friends please.
Me : Whats that big about me..? Why don’t you do it yourself and send it to all?
She : Noooooo. Your circle is bigger than mine. You know me na, I have a very small circle. Thats why.

Trust me, I don’t know which circle she is talking about and I didn’t had guts to cross check that with her. Hard to keep quiet. Phew.

This will rip your ribs for sure. Once I was speaking about my mom’s sisters with this girl who I got to know recently. In my language mom’s sister(mausi) is called as Pinni. I was telling that my elder Pinni is the one who used to take care and baby sit me in my childhood. My younger Pinni used to teach and take care of our studies and schooling blah blah..!! Suddenly due to out of coverage area the phone got disconnected. I called her back and asked her, what was I saying. One of the shocking answers I ever heard in my life, she said, “You were telling me about your Pinnis”. I jumped in my shoes and almost had a cardiac.Grasping for my breathe I said, “What the heck, when did I start telling about parts of my body”? She hung up the phone. Lifes like that. I hate this Beeeeep beeeeeep sound.

Request to my dear readers :
Teach me how to win girls and make friendship with them. Save a bachelor. Use the comment board and enlighten me.

Please share if any of your bone got TICKLED
Rating 4.62 out of 5

  21 Responses to “Girl Talks”

  1. It’z ultra V..Ur I deas….Nag

  2. guessing from ur readership i dnt think u need any help with girls

    i was talking music with one of my lady friends

    she likes rock…i like jazz…n i just love SAX…

    you can guess the rest

    • Haahaha…few of my lady friends loves clarinet and sax. And I love SOFT music..so when we meet..its all “HER-MOANy”..i mean harmony..! 😉

  3. lovely creation… it has happened with me but in a diff way

  4. hehe gud one as usual from ur narrations luved the leggy one

  5. i think u should keep trying that girl who is still drinking water.she will definatily have answers of your question.

  6. hahahaaaaaaaa…. enjoyed reading …… writing a book will be a good idea

    • its one of my future projects. sure will do someday sometime. if u guys keep supporting me this much def i wud at my earliest.

  7. Haai Vineel… the one liked is the “under where??” one…!hahahah…and forget about the comedy forget abt the funny instances..forget abt the Naughtyness…The language is really user friendly…plz dont get into any kind of high end vocabulary and make me buy a baroons..!…

    all the script was like a fast melting Ice…i read the whole post in 2 mins…! How abt writing a Book?? I see no difference between u and Chethan bhagath..!

  8. The way you see the world so it is… I really liked the way the fun was made out of normal day situations.especially the north indian slang of MEMORY MESSAGE made me laugh lik ny thing. thanks a TON 4 sharing the FUN Vizard….

  9. your works on comedy seem to be similar to the work of a professional or a PH.D holder in the respective degree
    hats off

  10. ha ha its funny man … naaku mi ” under where ” baaga nachindi 🙂 . In which” circle” you bought it 😀

  11. 🙂 Naughty is redefined as V i think .

  12. hehehheehe… beeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp beeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppp….bip bip bipp…
    ohh its struck… 🙁

  13. Haha..that was really a nice one

    I too had such an experience with a gal..,but not on phone..,was while chatting with her in gtalk

    Instead of typing ‘wait for sec’..,i typed in ‘wait for se(replace this letter with the key left next to letter ‘C’ on your keyboard) 😉

    • hey buddy…lolz. same pinch. this happened many a times with me too. just a se*. one se* plz. etc etc.
      at times i had this problem too. i wanna type “May all the LUCK be with u” and since U and I are side by side
      i typed “May all the LICK be with u”. 🙁

      • heey Vineel do u remmeber..exactly the same thing happened with me …i wished some gal as “i wish you a good lick” ..hahhaah…i think u exposed this mistake…

  14. well, its rather boy talk than girls talk…. poor girls had no fault in the funny result.. 😉

  15. oh Man…!! u are the god of naughtiness..!!
    wondering, if really god’s beautiful creation made ya squeeze more outta ya… :):)

    nail biting fun…!! oohahaaa… want mmmooooreee titbits… :):)

  16. hahahahahaha, enjoyed every bit of it…

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