Nov 162017

“Kiss Mat…Arey Kiss Mat…kitni baar bolo..I am in Car pool..Kiss Mat yaar”..

Hearing these words and unable to control my ever curious mind..I asked her..”Boy Friend?” with a naughty smile. She turned to me and said “Oh no..she is my old school friend”. I wanted to correct my question..”Oh lesbian friend?” but didn’t dare to ask it. After a little pause and unable to resist myself..again asked her..”But you have been asking her not to Kiss you over phone. These days its all fine, whats there..” I said. Then she replied, “Its my FATE..KISMAT. Not asking her not to Kiss me”. BINGO..Huhh..Few things I can never learn. For Eg : My Proficiency in Hindi. ( Read my old blog : Romancing With Hindi )

Tadaaaaaaaaaaaa….This is how my Carpooling experiences goes on by each day. Kismat Konnection indeed.

As I believe in doing Eco friendly things like Conserving water, Recycling, Say no to plastic, Bring your own girl, Nudism etc, Carpooling is one among those initiatives I have been doing off late. Let me share some of my interesting encounters from my recent past.

Being a courteous guy, I casually wished “Hey..Howz the day” to the girl who just popped into my car. She replied “How do you know that I am on my period dates”..? Startled to her answer, I went calm unable to know what to reply, I said “Hmmm..I just asked you, How is your DAY”. Realizing her mistake she said, “My Bad..Am sorry”. Noticing she isn’t married, I said “No No..infact its good. If you have missed one then you should feel sorry..not for this. Its ok. Chill”. Anyways looking at her décolleté, I am sure she should be carrying things safe. 😀

Once a very cute traditionally looking girl got into the back seat. To ease the journey I generally initiate pep talk with the riders. To break the ice, I asked her where is she from? She said she hails from Punjab..Mughul dynasty and she said some story as how her ancestors were related to the Mughuls blah blah. Then I cracked a joke on Mughuls. She laughed loud. God Damnnn..she laughed as if she was moaning than laughing. Its more like a reverse laugh. Instead of Ha Haa Haa she went on like Ah Ahh Ahh. Immediately I said Shhhh..shhhh.. calm down are sounding as if you are..err ahemm..!! For that she laughed still louder and the whole car was shuddering with her euphoric laugh. If her laugh itself is like this..I wonder how her..pheww..never mind. One laugh lead to another and she moaned a lot that day. I guess that evening my car got its Tantric ablution from inside.
Mughul-e-Orgasm I say. 😛

This happened recently. Two girls who got in, said they are each other’s best friends and they are inseparable..they do everything together..share clothes..same work place etc. They said we are each other’s shoulders, blood, body, soul and fingers. FINGERS..?? :O I was petrified with the burst of thoughts that exploded in my brain. Without any delay I said – Fingers..? Wow..How..? One of them said..”Yes..recently I broke my hand and she used to feed me”. The other one continued, “Oh yeah she is my Bestie..she helps me every time I break off from my BF”. OOOHHHKAYY now I get the whole scenario. Its KFC. Awwwwww…How cute. Isn’t that what life is all about? Making each other happy ? I rest my case here. _/\_

This arTICKLE wont be complete if I don’t tell this incident. One day this super gorgeous girl got into the car. Before I asked her where she will be getting down, she said “Uncle, which way will you be going”? U N C L E…?? Seriously..? Did she call me UNCLE..? WTFrock..? It reverberated in my MIND and I almost about to crash to the nearby divider.  Controlling my emotional turbulence, I said “Yes..same route as I ride you…I mean as per your ride”. Then she was on phone speaking in English pronouncing words like ask as aks, risk as riks, pepsi as pespi, school as ksool etc. Myself being a science student realized – Light travels faster than sound. Then at the end when I was about to halt..she said “Uncle..Swalpa dhoor jaake, stop maadi”. Damnnnn she misked..oops, I mean mixed 3 languages in one line. Whoaaav…No doubt Beauty is tongue deep.

Like these, many interesting things that keeps happening during Car pooling. No matter what Drive safe & Stay protected. Share your experiences in the comments. Please Like, Comment and Share.
Part 2 coming soon..Car Pooling with Guys. Watch this space. 😀

Rating 4.33 out of 5
Feb 162015

One of my New Year resolutions is to revive this site..and continue in Titling your naughty bone. As a part of it-Here comes my first blog for this year where I am doing little bit of a naming ceremony and you are all invited to join me hands in going through this christening function –

LOLitha – The kind of girls who uses LOL extensively on chats, FB, Twitter, WhatsApp etc absolutely for anything and everything.
Eg :

Status 1: My GrandPa..died and I miss him.. 🙁
LOLitha: RIP Grandpa..LOL 🙂
(WTF..Whats LOL in losing a GrandPa..?)

Scene 1: A beautiful sun rise picture being shared on FB
LOLitha : LOL.. 🙂
(Errr..I have no idea what LOL has to do with a Sun set..nor what is so Hilarious about Dawn)

Scene 2: Someone would have shared a nice cute picture of their kid
LOLitha : You have a nice kid ..LOL.. 😀
(This freaks me out. Unless the Kid is a hobbit or has something funny, I really don’t get it what is there to Laugh Out Loud on that..)

These LOLithas confuse me more than making me get infuriated. Is it only me who is susceptible to their dumb humor..? Probably not..LOL..(Oops..I don’t want to become a LOLith now)

scootyHORSEitha : This appreciation goes exclusively to women riders on Indian roads who ride a Scooty/Activa/Zing whichever of such kind of vehicles. But one funny thing we can observe is the way the vehicle is ridden. Most of the time I see that the legs are in splits and are left free to each of the sides dangling in air as if your are riding a horse without a saddle. This reminds me of Road Rash game where the riders can kick other riders or the police whoever is passing by for extra bonus points. Women – Please tell me, is riding the vehicle that much difficult or is it a style to ride like that..I still don’t understand. Guys next time when you see a HORSEitha just yell at her “Nice horse..Madam”..! 🙂

DUCKshitha (This is not Dhakshitha) : The name says it all. Hail all those ultra-young and modern Selfie faceaficionados no matter what, which position they are in, when anyone says pose for the involuntary awkward muscle protuberance happens with an instant pout on their lips. Whether they are undergoing labor pains..or they in middle of floods or tasting a lime..doesn’t matter. You say let’s take a snap then immediately their DUCK hormones gets activated and poof they are ready with a pout. Girls – Excuse us..if you feel it is style and makes u feel as sultry are wrong. All it makes us feel is to become the greedy farmer in the story “The Duck that lays a Golden Egg”.

isSHITha : The special clan of girls who are very much culture centric and show as if they are the incarnation of Indian values and in reality their traditional acumen will as big as a pea. Eg: You can see them wearing Indian dresses (Chudidhars, Saree) even in Minus degree temperatures when they come onsite. They give lengthy lectures if we suggest them to change. The chill will be hitting till their waist line from bottom, still they are ok not to wear jeans or any western wear and on top speak ill of those who does.

Let me get the truth-o-meter here. The reality is :

  • Most of them will be bodily-challenged to fit in such clothes
  • Will be very miserly afflicted to spend money
  • Have husband or Boyfriend who are a combo of the above two points
  • Have the exposure quotient the size of a NUTgame

These kind of girls won’t even mind to wear Saree/Ghagra Choli to play beach volley ball or a football match and elevate the traditional values as high as a punctured ball goes. Wish to put some sand into my eyes than see this..God Bless them.

SUSUmitha : Haahhaa..This name made me laugh just by its mere sound. wcThe kind of a person who is addicted to going to loo wherever they go. Unless they bless the restroom in that place, their heart won’t be in content. Doesn’t matter where they go. Be it if they get into a flight, go to a new area, go to beach, go to a carnival, friends place, shopping mall..etc. Even if they become an astronaut and go to moon, first thing to do after going there is to do..SU SU. Long live the bladder..

FACEitha : You see them everywhere and almost every day. The evidences of these kinds of species is growing huge day by day and still counting. The interesting cute bubbly type of young girls and wives who keep selfies of their faces but nothing else. Some of the DUCKshitas you find in this category. If you continue clicking their next 50 pics of theirs, it will all be just faces faces and faces. Lucky be the one who finds a full length pic of them. But 95% chances is that it will be minimum 3 years old snap. If you ask me WHY..?I also don’t know but once you see them in full then probably you may understand the reason. No comments..just be watchful.

So my dear Buddies – Next time you get to see or come across these kinds of esteemed genre, don’t forget to think of these names and have a chuckle. And do let me know in comments of any other types you can categorise accordingly. Anyways as Shakespeare once said ..All is fine on Twitter and Facebook. Nail them all. Oops..I mean, Hail them all..

Rating 4.50 out of 5
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